BeCaUsE i HaVe AdD...

so in exciting news about our life here in Raleigh, i got my favorite calling back.  I know that never happens but it did this time and I'm super excited.  I spent the first couple years here teaching Gospel Principles which at first was very daunting but grew into a great love.  some of that love came from watching new members of our ward grow in their testimonies and be able to participate with them as they have attended the temple and even been sealed together. and some came from the learning and study that accompanies teaching.  sometimes i feel my most comfortable when i get to teach, especially the Gospel. its been a great adventure.  well at the beginning of the year i was released.  and i actually cried.  this has only happened one other time.  that time being when i was released from teaching relief society in a singles ward with no warning during sacrament meeting.  it was devastating.  well i spent part of this year not really feeling like i had a place to go during sunday school.  it felt weird to be in Gospel Doctrine and although we did attend Gospel Principles some, I didn't want to intrude on the new teacher.  Well miracle of miracles the new teacher moved away and they called and extended the calling again!  i could have jumped for joy, but i did manage to keep my voice appropriate on the phone.  so this week i'm preparing my first lesson and its on the Word of Wisdom.  great lesson, very exciting.  in my preparations i was looking up old conference talks and ensign articles to help increase my knowledge, which it did.  and helped me feel more prepared to field whatever question might come my way.  in my searching i found this article by Elder Burton from April 1976.  its a great talk about this important principle.  at the beginning of his remarks he mentions Elder Maxwell's remarks which made me miss Elder Maxwell and his unique and exquisite ways of expressing himself.  I had to look up his talk as well and indulge myself.  and  i am so glad i did.  here is the link to Elder Maxwell's talk.  You should listen and read at the same time.  it helps with comprehension.

there was so much that was great about this talk but two things touched my heart more than others.  things i'm sure i need to hear and remember more now than at other times.  first, this quote,

I testify that in eloquent example he partook voluntarily of the bitter cup in the awful, but for him avoidable, atonement; we must, therefore, drink from our tiny cups. I thank him for likewise not interceding on our behalf, even when we pray in faith and reasonable righteousness, for that which would not be right for us. Our glimpse of Gethsemane should teach us that all prayers are petitions!

this is just one of many reminders i have had lately to remember that He is in control, and that sometimes the answer i need and the answer i want are not the same.  

the second is this,

I testify that just as he has helped to carefully construct this second estate for all mankind, he also has helped to carefully construct each of our little universes of experience. I thank him for blessing me therein with a wife, children, parents, leaders, and friends to help me. I thank him now for the tender times, the jarring times, the perplexing times, and even for the times when my learning is so painfully public—lest in such moments to come I am too taxed to testify or too anguished to appreciate.


several things hit me, that this is my experience, made especially for me.  it does not need to fit a certain mold, that is culturally approved or even Cari approved, it just needs to fit the mold made for me by a loving Heavenly Father and Savior.  and that this man who is testifying stood with grace and complete devotion to our Savior and the Church through more physical trials than most of us were aware of.  in 1976 as he spoke these words i'm sure he could not comprehend what his personal universe of experience would be but his example has been a blessing in my life.   sometimes a little a.d.d. and the internet bring unexpected insight and blessings.